If your child is under 11
The guide starts at 11, because younger kids change quickly, and they should. At this age, you don't need to find a direction. You need to give your child plenty to discover.
Your three jobs right now
- Expose them to a lot Offer many kinds of experiences: making, nature, music, sports, people and places. Variety matters more than getting good at one thing.
- Build strong foundations Reading, math, curiosity, and finishing what they start. These help with almost any path they choose later.
- Watch more than you steer Your influence matters, so use it to open doors. Then notice which ones they walk through on their own.
Being a parent is tough. I know. You won't get all of this right, and you don't have to.
Things to try this year
Pick one or two at a time. There's nothing to score, and none of this says what your child will become.
Build and fix
- Build something from cardboard and tape.
- Help with a simple repair at home.
- Plant something and look after it.
Ask why
- Guess what will happen, then test it.
- Collect rocks, leaves or bugs and sort them.
- Take a question to the library together.
Make things
- Draw, paint or write a short story.
- Make up a song or a dance.
- Put on a small show for the family.
Care for others
- Help a younger child learn something.
- Take on a regular job caring for a pet or plant.
- Make something kind for a neighbor or relative.
Lead and speak
- Plan a family game night.
- Explain a game's rules to the family.
- Run a pretend store or a lemonade stand with you.
Plan and organize
- Help plan a trip, or a meal and its shopping list.
- Sort a shelf or a collection their own way.
- Keep a simple chart of something they care about.
Adults should supervise anything involving tools, heat, animals, strangers or being out of the house.
What to notice
- What do they go back to without being asked?
- What makes them lose track of time?
- What do they ask about again and again?
- What do they do when something gets hard?
- What do they talk about after it's over?
Open doors without pushing
- Ask "What was your favorite part?" before you say what you liked.
- Praise their effort and curiosity, not a future job.
- Let them drop something after a fair try. Knowing what they don't like counts too.
- Try things you don't care about yourself. They may love what you never did.
When they turn 11
Come back when they turn 11. You and your child can take the guide together, and everything you noticed will help.
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